Most people start thinking about the holidays as early as October 1st. With Halloween kicking off the season, it can feel like a non-stop sprint from October’s spooky season to December’s holiday cheer—like a toddler running full speed when you ask, “What’s in your mouth?”. Between school projects (because they’re all packed into one month 🥲), seasonal events, those must-have pumpkin patch or Santa photos, gatherings with family and friends, and prepping for the New Year, it’s easy for “the most wonderful time of the year” to morph into the most exhausting holiday stress.

But hey, I get it. I have been that person running to the grocery store last-minute on Thanksgiving Eve, or stressfully gift shopping with that sinking feeling that somehow, without a Christmas present, a relationship might not survive. But now, as a mom of two, I simply don’t have the extra energy to focus on making everyone else happy during this whirlwind of a season. I’ve found freedom in letting go.

Honestly, It’s a bit much

Last year, just shy of one year postpartum with my daughter, I didn’t feel the need to explain why I wasn’t buying Christmas gifts, planning Thanksgiving gatherings, or going door-to-door asking strangers for candy. I was going through what I now recognize as moderate postpartum depression.

That year before my daughter turned one, I took a different approach: I let my 7-year-old pick a Halloween costume in early October and encouraged him to wear it as much as he wanted ( which got me my money’s worth for once). We attended one neighborhood fall festival, kept a jar of holiday treats for his “candy” fix, and called it a season. Thanksgiving saw us at my in-laws’ in nothing remotely fancy, happily filling up on food and leftovers.

For Christmas, which is just a couple weeks past both mine and my daughters birthday festivities, we skipped the decorations and the tree, exchanged no gifts as a couple, and kept it simple with two modest gifts for each child (honestly, I can’t even remember what they were). We celebrated New Year’s with some tidying, board games with our 6-year-old, and toasting with champagne and sparkling apple juice. We really got to remember just how funny he can be and after a long year adjusting to a new baby, I think it was the perfect way to close out that chapter.

Now, even in a better headspace, I see the value in being selective with my energy during the holidays. I’m choosing to skip the unnecessary holiday stress that drains my mental well-being, free time, and personal joy. As we wind down into the New Year, I’m bringing one of my favorite buzzwords into practice: boundaries.

10 Tips for Surviving the Holidays without sacrificing your peace of mind.

1. Set Clear Expectations Early

The holidays come with a lot of assumptions and expectations, especially from family. It’s perfectly okay to tell your mom you won’t be making a five-course turkey dinner when you don’t even eat meat anymore! Being upfront about what you can realistically commit to will keep resentment from unmet expectations at bay. Let everyone know early on what you’re comfortable doing—and what you’re opting out of (Your in-laws may be unhappy, but they’ll survive). Set these boundaries before the holiday chaos begins; your great-grandma might need a six-month warning, so plan accordingly!

2. Pick Only A Few Meaningful Events

Dragging an overstimulated, overtired toddler from event to event or to visit Santa for yet another ugly cry photo is a loss for everyone. You don’t have to attend every holiday party or seasonal outing. Choose a handful of activities that truly matter to you and your family—like a favorite community event or a cozy family movie night—and let the rest go without guilt. Your children and certainly your husband will probably thank you for it.

3. Embrace Lowkey Traditions

Often, the most cherished traditions are the simplest ones. Instead of elaborate holiday plans, lean into small, meaningful activities like baking cookies, reading holiday stories with your kids, planning a weekday brunch with siblings, or hosting a low-key game night with friends. The heart of the holidays is spending time with loved ones, and these low-key traditions can be just as special as the grand gestures, without the stress. Plus, it’s hard to enjoy anything if your aunt’s been complaining for hours about the $300 game no one wanted to play!

4. Plan For Downtime

My personal favorite. A little “me time” goes a long way. In a season that heavily focuses on doing for others, it’s easy to forget about yourself, especially if you’re the “supermom” making all the holiday magic happen. Schedule some downtime to recharge. Block off quiet hours or take a restful weekend getaway with friends or family to relax, unwind, and actually enjoy the season. I’ll be savoring all the holiday wellness teas to stay cheerful and balanced—Yogi’s holiday blends are my go-to, and you can find them at your local grocery store or on Amazon.

5. Embrace Boundaries As Self-Care

Boundaries are essential, not just during the holidays, but every day. Think of them as the gift that keeps on giving. Boundaries let people know how to treat you. It doesn’t mean telling your mom to get lost, but a gentle redirect like “not right now” or “I’d like to step back from this” can work wonders. Remember, you’re not obligated to explain or justify; “no” is a complete sentence. Protect your peace and energy over meeting every expectation. Honoring your limits isn’t selfish; it’s a form of self-care that helps you fully enjoy the season without burnout. This year, let boundaries be a gift to yourself, ensuring you end the year (and begin a new one) feeling peaceful and fulfilled.

6. Simplify YouR Gift Giving

Your kids actually don’t need all the things. Since my son was born, we’ve focused on a “three-gift” Christmas: one from Mom, one from Dad, and one from both of us (usually the more expensive gift). Prioritize thoughtful gifts over quantity. Last year, I decided that good relationships don’t hinge on endless presents, and I’m here to liberate you with the knowledge that they indeed don’t! Make gift-giving meaningful, not overwhelming—it’ll be fine, I promise.

7. Set A Budget And Stick To It

Overspending can quickly drain the joy out of the holidays (and your wallet). Going all out for a Thanksgiving feast only to be blindsided by Christmas shopping costs and a New Year’s Eve outfit can leave you broke and balling—your eyes out—on January 1. Set a budget that feels comfortable, and communicate it with loved ones if necessary. Embrace a modest approach, focusing on experiences, memories, and presence over presents. You won’t regret it—especially when your best friend probably can’t remember what you got them two Christmases ago.

8. Focus On What Truly Brings You Joy

Instead of getting wrapped up in what the holidays “should” look like, focus on what genuinely makes you happy. Whether it’s quality time with your kids, quiet moments with a warm drink, listening to holiday music, or doing absolutely nothing. You don’t have to subscribe to all the holiday hype. Do what makes you happy and aligns with your family’s values. This season is for you, too.

These tips will help you protect your peace, stay grounded, and actually enjoy the holidays. You got this, mama 😉